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Intimate Wedding Guide: How To Elope
A Note From Me:I can’t tell you how excited I am that you and your partner have chosen to throw tradition to the wind, grab hold of what’s important to both of you, and create an incredibly unique wedding experience that’s a true reflection of who you are.
There aren’t many couples brave enough to follow their hearts instead of following the “rules,” so, I’ll just say it outright—congrats on being pretty badass.
The most amazing thing about choosing to elope is that you can forget all expectations, opinions, and obligations about what you’re “supposed” to do, and instead focus entirely on what matters most to you two, with nothing holding you back. All of this freedom can be a bit overwhelming though—when there’s no longer any “rules” or “formula” on what your wedding day is “supposed” to be, then how do you plan it?
That’s where me & this guide come in—to help make the process of dreaming and planning your unique wedding day as simple and stress-free as possible.
I’m here for you every step of the way. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the process of creating a wedding experience that you’ll love every minute of.
I can’t wait to get to know you two better and help you create an incredible elopement day!
xx Flora.
STEPS TO PLAN YOUR DAY
Just like there’s not just one way to elope, there’s also not just one way to plan an elopement. So while these are generally the steps to follow, it’s not always a linear process. And if you need help along the way, I’m here for you!
Step 1Think big picture, dream up your best day without worrying about logistics yet. What do you want to see and do on your day? Redwoods, a morning swim, coffee and vows on the pier?
Step 2Make Big Decisions First :Once you have an overall vision for what you two want out of your day, it’s time to make the biggest decisions that will affect your elopement experience the most: who are you inviting, where are you going, and how long you’re going for.
step 3The next step is plan out all of your details for your day including booking your travel and a place to stay, choosing your vendors, deciding on activities, picking out your wedding day attire, and gathering any other items or gear you may need.
Step 4Once you have all of the details decided on, it’s time to put your vision all together and create a timeline for your elopement or intimate wedding day (or multiple days) that fits everything you want to experience. Make sure you choose a hotel you want photos in or around!!
Step 5
Get ready to go
Now the planning is done and you just need to gather everything you need, pack for your trip, make sure you communicate with your guests (if you have any), and get ready to have an amazing day!Get ready to go
Step 1:Dream up your best day
What would your wedding day look like if there were no boundaries?
When you first start planning your elopement—the best mindset you and your partner can have is one with no boundaries. This part of the process has nothing to do with limits, so forget for a moment about what’s “feasible,” and just let yourselfdream.
I whole-heartedly believe that no single elopement or intimate wedding is exactly like another—just like there’s no couple out there that’s exactly the same. So don’t limit yourself to what you’ve seen on blogs, social media, from friends and family, or even from me. Your wedding day is about creating a day that’s going to make you feel the most alive, happy, relaxed, and in-love.
This part of the planning process is all about letting your imagination go wild, and envisioning the most enjoyable day for the two of you, that would celebrate your relationship in the most authentic way. Forget about any restrictions for a moment and just dream big—that’s where you’ll find what speaks most to you. You’ll have time to figure out the details later.
Pro Tip: Make brainstorming about your best wedding experience a date night!
Cuddle up on the sofa, have a delicious dinner, or go for a walk to your favorite place—whatever’s your favorite way tospend quality time with your partner, go do it!
Start thinking about what the perfect elopement day would look like for you both if there were no obstacles in your way.
Grab your partner’s hand (seriously, do it!) and shut your eyes. Think hard about the day you’re going to stand next to each other, holding each other’s hands like you’re doing right now, and saying your vows. Try to picture it all.
Now, ask yourself: Where are you? What do you see?
You don’t need to know specifics to give this experiment a go—this can be super vague to start. Are you on top of amountain you’ve just hiked up? Are you hanging out in a rooftop bar looking out at the city lights? Are you standing between vines tasting wines? Are you sitting in a kayak on a river? Are you running hand-and-hand down a moody, sandybeach toward a picnic blanket decked out with your favorite treats?
There are no wrong answers. The most important thing is to try to let go of what anyone else thinks and to avoid shootingdown ideas for not being practical (just yet).
Step 1Prompts to inspire you as you brainstorm
Looking for a few creative questions to get the brainstorming going? Here’s some questions to think about together:
What have been the best days that you two have had together as a couple? Where were you and what did you do together?
Describe how the perfect elopement day would feel—are you relaxed? Excited? Happy? Content? Free of any and all stress? Really talk about the feeling you’re chasing.
Close your eyes and picture your wedding day—what’s it like? Are there other people around? Or is it just you? Do you see busy streets, family & friends, your dog(s) or an empty landscape?
What does the scenery look like? Do you see mountains? A city skyline? A waterfall? An ocean? Cliffs? A desert? A lake? A cabin in the woods? A vineyard? A beach?
What about the weather, temperature, and what you are wearing? What would be the most comfortable and the most “you”?
How much time are you dedicating to your elopement? Is it part of a honeymoon trip? Is it a weekend adventure in your favorite spot or a multi-week trek somewhere new?
Who do you see there with you on your day? Your friends? Family members? Your furry best friend? Or are you craving a “just for us” day?
What are you doing on your day together on your wedding day—are you going out for a drive or going on a hike? What about relaxing in a hammock or soaking in a hot spring?
What does your ceremony look like? Are you reading vows? Are there religious or traditional aspects? Is there something meaningful you’d love to include that’s special for you?
How did you fall in love—are there ways you want to implement that into your ceremony? A special place? A special moment? A special song?
Are you eating your favorite foods on your elopement day? Drinking your favorite beverages?
Pro Tip: Write down all of the ideas that are sparked during this process so that you can refer back to them later when you’re making concrete decisions.
Make Big Decisions First
Once you have come up with the overall vision for your day, the next step of the planning process is about making the biggest decisions that will most affect your elopement experience: who you’re inviting, where you’re getting married, and how long your whole trip is going to be.
Take your time with these and make sure what you choose is in alignment with what you two decided you wanted out of your wedding experience when you were brainstorming.
Decide on who:
For some couples, this is a super easy question to answer—and for others, it’s more of a debate. The truth is—an elopement doesn’t have to be just two people. You can definitely still have an intimate elopement experience and a day that’s fully centered on your relationship with your closest friends and/or family involved.
However, if you do decide to invite family or friends along, whether it’s just a celebratory meal, the getting ready portionof the day, just the ceremony, or the whole day, make sure they’re fully on board with your vision and understand that you’re not having a big traditional wedding—but a unique celebration that’s authentic to your relationship.
Step 3:Things to consider when considering eloping with family or friends
As you decide, remember that there are many beautiful ways to include family or friends in your “getting married” experience, even if they’re not physically present when you say your vows. There’s no right or wrong answer here as you’re following your heart. Don’t compromise. Don’t fall victim to expectations. Don’t let anyone else tell you how tohave your day (that’s what big weddings are for).
Out of the people you’re considering inviting, is everyone on that list going to be just as excited as you about the experience and be fully on board for what you have envisioned for your day?
Is there someone who you think it would be really meaningful to hear your vows, or would you rather read them privately to your partner without anyone else listening?
Do you feel like inviting a few people could result in a “snowball effect” where you have to continue to invite more, or is there a clearly defined “short list” that you don’t imagine would spiral out of control?
Is there anyone you’re planning to invite that may try to take over or take control of your experience, try to shift focus away from what matters to the two of you, or who makes you uncomfortable, nervous, or stressed out?
How accessible do you envision your ceremony location is going to be? Can everyone you want to invite physically make it to that kind of spot?
What about transportation and lodging? Where is everyone traveling from and is it possible for them to get to andfrom your location? Are there going to be suitable places for everyone to stay nearby?
Step 3:How to involve friends & family
on your elopement day
HAVE ONE, INTIMATE CEREMONY
Planning a single ceremony to include your family and friends in your elopement is a beautiful way to have the people closest to you standing right by your side as you commit your lives to each other. The only caveat is that you might have to consider making compromises about the ceremony location to make sure to accommodate everyone’s needs.
SPREAD IT OVER TWO DAYS
If you like the idea of doing two ceremonies but feel like that would make for a very long day—spreading your elopement experience over two days can be the perfect solution to really being able to relax and not feel super rushed or exhausted. You can include your friends and family on the first day, and then have a second day all to yourselves. Or, you can have your dream 2-person elopement experience on Day 1, and then celebrate and take photos with your friends and family on the following day.
INCLUDE THEM IN OTHER INTIMATE MOMENTS
Your family and friends can be physically present and involved in your wedding day, even if you don’t necessarily wantto have a ceremony with them. You can invite them to help you get ready or see your first look, before sending you offto have an entirely private ceremony by yourselves. Or you can invite them to just take some formal portraits with youafterward and have a celebratory dinner in the evening.
SPLIT UP THE DAY
If you want to involve your family and friends in your ceremony, but don’t want to make compromises on your ceremony location you can have a private vow-reading with just you and your partner, and then have another ceremony with your family and friends during a different part of the day. You can choose to read the same vows for both ceremonies or you can keep your vows private and have a different type of ceremony in front of your family and friends. This way, you get to read your vows in total privacy, in the exact location you’re envisioning, but also have a meaningful ceremony with your closest people next to you.
If you do decide to bring friends and family along to your elopement, there are multiple options on how you can include them in your day.
Step 3:How to involve friends & family If They’re not physically present.
If you choose to have a “just us” 2-person wedding, or if you have family members or friends who aren’t able to be physically present—you can still involve them in the process of you getting married in many creative and beautiful ways.
Throw an engagement party
Ask them to help you pick out your wedding attire
Invite them to watch you sign your marriage license before you leave for your trip
Include family heirlooms as detail items in your day
Facetime, Skype, or Zoom them on your day
Invite them to write letters that you’ll read during your ceremony
Invite them to write letters that you’ll read during your day
Send them photos, videos, and selfies during your day
Open gifts or cards from them on your day
Bring something back for them from your trip
Have a party or reception with them after your elopement
Share your full gallery of photos with them (you can even have a photo reveal party!)
Gift them prints or an album
TIP 2: Tell Them Face To Face (Or on a Video Call)
Many couples opt for telling their friends and family that they are eloping in-person because it makes it easier to explain why you are choosing an elopement and to share your genuine excitement through your expression and voice. If they don’t live close by, video chat is the closest replacement to telling them in-person.
TIP 3: Share Your Reasons Why
Some friends and family members might react to your plans based upon the misconception that your elopement means excluding them—and explaining your reasoning behind why you decided to elope can help relieve those negative feelings.
A few common reasons you can share are:
We wanted to do something incredibly meaningful to us on our wedding day
We wanted our wedding day to be truly intimate and not performative
We wanted to spend as much time together on our wedding day, making each other happy instead of any guests
We wanted to say our vows in a beautiful and private place that just won’t fit a huge group
We wanted the process of getting married to be as stress-free as possible
We don’t want to wait to plan and pay for a big traditional wedding, and we are ready to celebrate our love sooner by eloping
We decided to save for a house, a travel experience, or another investment instead of spending that money on a party
TIP 4: Keep Them Involved & Share As Many Details As You Can
Asking your friends and family to participate in your planning process can help them feel like they are still involved in your big day in some way while also reassuring them that they are not being excluded. Telling your friends and family about all the details of your elopement day can help them understand the time, energy, effort, and thought that you’ve put into creating your elopement ceremony—and why it’s perfect for you and your relationship. Keeping them informed allows them to feel involved and excited since they know what you are planning.
TIP 5: Share Your Photos With Them
Some couples reveal their elopement with their friends and family by surprising them with the elopement pictures—which are the best and most tangible way to show how much fun you had on your actual elopement day. Sharing your photos can help those who weren’t present understand what your elopement was all about because they can see your joy, your happiness, and overall how incredible the day was for you and your partner.
TIP 6: Remember The Day Is For You
It’s good to empathize with friends and family who may be initially disappointed in your plans—but don’t forget that your wedding day is a celebration of your love with your partner (not anybody else) and that you deserve to have the day that feels right and authentic to you
How to tell family and friends you eloped:
Whether you’re eloping just the two of you or inviting some friends & family but not others, it’s important to think through how you want to communicate your decision to have a wedding day that’s unique to the two of you.
You can choose to tell everyone in advance and even send out an announcement, or you can tell a select few people only or keep your plans entirely secret and announce it after. Do what feels the most empowering to the two of you that will enable you to relax and fully enjoy your day, without anyone else’s opinions or expectations. These are my best tips on how to make the news go over as smoothly as possible if you choose to share.
Dropping hints before getting engaged or announcing your elopement can ease friends and family into the idea of you eloping without you formally having to tell them yet—reducing objections and any surprises. If there are certain people you expect will be more skeptical of the idea of an elopement, you can also ask other friends and family members to help you drop hints too.
How to tell your friends & family of your plans
TIP 1: Drop Hints And Be Obvious
Dropping hints before getting engaged or announcing your elopement can ease friends and family into the idea of you eloping without you formally having to tell them yet—reducing objections and any surprises. If there are certain people you expect will be more skeptical of the idea of an elopement, you can also ask other friends and family members to help you drop hints too.
Step 3:Decide on “Where”
IWHERE DO YOU WANT TO SAY YOUR VOWS?
There are a ton of factors that will affect your elopement day, but picking your location is one of the biggest pieces of the puzzle that will determine the experience of your elopement day.
Your location should feel right for you—it should be somewhere you feel overwhelmingly happy, somewhere you feel absolutely alive, somewhere you know you and your partner can focus on each other and truly be in the moment.
FACTORS TO CONSIDER WHEN PICKING YOUR LOCATION:
SCENERY & VIEWS
What type of scenery do you and your partner feel connected to? What views fill you with a sense of happiness, inspiration, and peace? Where would feel the most “you” to say your vows? Remember back to your brainstorming stage of the process and what you two determined about your vision for your day. What scenery would fulfil that experience that you’re dreaming of?
SEASONS & WEATHER
Some types of scenery and landscapes really shine at certain times of year—so consider the season you’ve chosen to elope, and what types of scenery are best at that time of year. If you’re getting married in the spring, waterfalls tend to be flowing there best, there’s usually a lot of snow at high altitudes, and the desert can be quite pleasant. If you’re eloping in the middle of summer, you could go somewhere with blooming wildflowers and high-elevations are more accessible. If you’re eloping in the fall, consider where the best fall colors may be.
ACCESSIBILITY
How accessible your location is will greatly affect your elopement-day experience. What types of transportation are you and any potential guests willing to take to get to your spot? In Big Sur there is NO cell reception so I always suggest if you have guests to choose an air&b, hotel or other venue. If you don'thave guests you can follow me or have a driver! Make sure you deeply consider what experience would be the most fun, relaxing and totally “you.” How accessible you want your spot to be can help you narrow down your location options. Also keep in mind any other guests that might be attending and their capacity to travel or hike.
SECLUSION
In a perfect world—your elopement location would ideally have world-class postcard scenery, super easy accessibility, and total seclusion—but most of the time you usually have to prioritize two out of those three. Some locations that are easier to access usually have less privacy because of it. The general rule of thumb (although not a set rule) is that the further you are willing to travel, the more secluded your spot will probably be—so ask yourself how many people you would be comfortable having around or how much privacy you would be willing to give up for a Instagram-trending view. You can also find great seclusion at “hidden gem” locations that are just as gorgeous as the Instagram trendy spots—just less well known. Eloping at sunrise is another way to get more privacy at a typically busy spot.
MEANING
Be intentional about the place you decide on and the significance it has to you now or could have to you in the future. Maybe it is a favorite place to travel to with your partner, a place you’ve always wanted to go, or a place that you could travel back to every year to celebrate your anniversary.
EXPERIENCE & ACTIVITIES
Beyond saying your vows and taking portraits, what else do you want to do on your elopement day (or weekend or longer)? Whether you want to relax in a hammock between the trees, go sailing, kayaking, paddleboarding, paragliding, wine tasting, or stargazing—some locations will lend themselves better to certain activities. When you are planning these activities as a part of your day and your overall trip, keep in mind realistically how long they will take and how long it might take to get from one to the next (with a buffer just in case)! If you have your heart set on a particular activity—this could help you narrow down where you choose to elope.
GUESTS
Do you want others to be involved in your elopement or just you and your partner? If you do opt to invite guests, be intentional with how many people you invite, aware of any accessibility or travel needs, and decide on how much of the day they will be involved in. Figuring out the number of guests involved is an important component of choosing a location since some locations have very specific limits on the number of guests that can be in attendance—but don’t be discouraged because there are gorgeous places out there that can accommodate more guests! Just be certain that you are setting realistic expectations with any guests in attendance about how much traveling is involved and how much they are going to be involved with your elopement day.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO WEAR ON YOUR WEDDING DAY?
I’m going to hit you with another disclaimer here before we dive right in. If it hasn’t sunk in yet, your elopement day is all about doing exactly what you want to do—so your attire is no different.
Ultimately, you should feel 100% comfortable, happy, beautiful, and wonderful in whatever you wear, so please don’t feel any pressure to wear something that doesn’t speak to you.
My best advice in the beginning stages of picking out your wedding attire is to keep an open mind. Many couples have told me that they started shopping for one particular style in mind and ended up with choosing something completely different. It happens often!
It’s helpful if you can find a local shop or boutique to try on a few styles in person. Even if you’re planning to eventually make your purchase online, it’s nice to see how different styles look and feel on you in person so you are confident that you have a good idea what you’re looking for before making an online purchase.
When picking out attire, remember that you’re likely going to be wearing it all day—so consider how heavy it is, how comfortable it is how easily you can move in it. Think about what activities you plan to do in your attire, and what kind of attire would work best without holding you back from having tons of fun.
Your perfect wedding attire is the one that best “fits” you—if you’re happy,comfortable and feel amazing, you’re doing it right. There are no rules—pick what you love the most!
Choose Your Activities:
While big traditional weddings have a pretty set plan of events they tend to follow, when you elope—the activities you can do during your day aren’t limited to just a ceremony and a reception. Open your mind to your wedding day being a lot more than saying vows and taking a few portraits—this is your chance to craft an entire day together, from start to finish that is as much fun, and representative of who you two actually are as possible.
The best place to start this process? With a few questions. Ask yourselves things like:
What are our favorite activities to do together?
What do we do for fun on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis?
How could we incorporate what we love to do on our elopement day?
Is there a new activity that we want to try together on our elopement day?
Think outside the box! Get creative and don’t be afraid to splurge—it’s your wedding day, after all!
Tips for Picking the Best Dress or Skirt
Your dress doesn’t have to be white—it can be any color you want! Black, blue, yellow, patterned, multi-colored—whatever you want, go for it!
If you’re having an outdoor elopement, it’s likely there will be a natural breeze. See how the dress flows and reacts to movement. Pick up the bottom fabric and mimic wind, twirl and spin to see how flowy it is. A simple skirt can look epic if it’s moved the right way, so sometimes the best “windblown” looks come from a dress that might seem a little boring on the hanger.
If you plan to do a longer hiking elopement, it’s a great idea to pack your dress in a backpack and then change when you get to your ceremony spot—consider avoiding heavier materials like corsets, boning, tulle, and super puffy skirts. Go for something lightweight!
Even if you’re not hiking, you’ll likely want to be able to move around freely. Are you able to take a big upward step in the dress? Will you be able to climb up on a rock or tree stump for an epic photo? Raise both arms up, dance, skip, run, swish it! Make sure it has the movement you love.
Is the dress lightweight enough for all day wear? Leave it on for an extended period of time and make sure it remains comfortable.
Can you sit down in a chair comfortably in the dress? Can you sit comfortably on the ground?
Do some jumping jacks and dance around! How does it feel? Does the dress bounce back into place or does it need a lot of adjusting after movement?
Are you interested in any accessories? Veils, capes, and shoulder shawls can add extra movement and add tons of drama to your photos.
Consider layering options that will go with the dress. If your elopement might have colder temperatures—find some cozy shawls or jackets that coordinate with your dress and that you would be excited about being photographed in.
Not looking for a dress but still want something sort of flowy? Try looking for skirts and sweaters. Maybe even a jumpsuit!
Think through who will be joining you while shopping and doing fittings (if anyone). I recommend only inviting people who are supportive of your vision, are totally on your team, and who can give you kind and honest feedback when asked.
Keep in mind that some dress shops can take up to 6 months to actually get a gown in, then you’ll also want to leave yourself with additional time for any necessary alterations.
Never feel rushed or pressured into making a decision. It’s ok to leave a shop having not found the perfect dress. You will find the one!
Tips for Picking the Best Footwear
The right type of footwear matters for most occasions—but especially on your wedding day.
Consider the environment that you’re eloping in.Make sure your footwear is appropriate for where you’re going and will enable you to have the most enjoyable time. I usually recommend going for function over form for shoes—as they don’t tend to be the most important focal point of your photos, but uncomfortable footwear can really hinder your experience.
If you’re eloping outdoors, good, solid footwear with actual tread is important when walking or hiking on natural surfaces. There could be great photo spots on top of rocks, boulders, etc. that require stable footing—so unless you plan to spend 100% of your day on flat pavement or a manicured lawn, you’re likely going to want supportive shoes with good grip.
For most locations, I personally recommend against wearing heels or dress shoes that are completely smooth on the bottom—good tread and support means more options for exploring and moving around freely without worrying about tripping, falling, sliding, tripping, or twisting an ankle.
If your location is warm, you can consider a supportive open-toed sandal, and if you’re getting married on warm sand, you may even want to consider going barefoot (or wearing barefoot sandals only) for part of the day unless the sand is too hot.
For hiking elopements, I recommend wearing the best pair of hiking boots you can find. You can choose to either keep them on for your ceremony and photos or change out of them, it’s totally up to you! Just remember, if you opt to switch shoes, they’ll still need good tread if you want to explore around freely for your photos.
If you purchase a new pair of hiking boots or shoes for your day, make sure you break them in ahead of time to avoid blisters or finding out day-of that they aren’t comfortable for all-day wear.
Craft Your Timeline:
Once you have some decisions made, travel and lodging booked, activities, attire and gear picked out—it’s time to put everything together and plan out the timeline of your day (or multiple days). This is where your elopement or intimate wedding experience starts to feel super real as you see your vision coming together into a seamless, exciting plan. Don’t worry—it’s not about scheduling out every minute of your day, but rather making sure that you have time for everything you want to do, see, and experience together—leaving room for spontaneity and relaxation.
How Much Coverage is Enough?
When planning out the timeline for your elopement day (or days), you might be wondering, how much of it should you have documented by me?
Want my honest opinion? Well here it is:
Your day deserves just as much documentation as anyone else getting married—and maybe even more.
Why? Well, here are three reasons.
While sometimes people think an elopement is just saying your vows and spending an hour or two taking portraits—the day you get married is so much more than that. Your wedding day is going to be the day you remember every year on your anniversary for the rest of your life together—and everything that happened thatday from sun up to sun down is a part of your experience. Couples having big weddings get the entire story oftheir day document, so why shouldn’t you?
If you’re spending all of this time intentionally planning the absolute best, most authentic experience for you and your partner—don’t you want to be able to relive all of it and remember it precisely, in full-color detail?
If you’re not having as many people attend your event in-person, the photos of your day are truly the only way to share your experience with others—don’t you want to be able to do that?
I honestly have never photographed an elopement that I thought the couple had me there for too long—but there havebeen countless days that I wish I could have documented a fuller picture of how awesome their entire experience was.
So when deciding how much of your day to have me along for—remember that just because I’m there doesn’t mean that it’s going to feel like an all-day photoshoot. I’m there to melt into the background, to make sure you have the best experience possible, and to just document you two having the time of your life.
Sunrise vs. Sunset
BENEFITS OF ELOPING AT SUNRISE
One big decision when it comes to creating a timeline for your elopement timeline is what time of day you want to have your elopement ceremony and have your couples portraits taken. Sunrise and sunset are favorite times among photographers to take pictures because of the golden lighting and vibrant colors that are caused by the sun being low in the sky. In sunny climates, midday sunlight can create harsh under-eye shadows, which is why the middle of the day is when I usually recommend doing indoor photos, getting ready photos, traveling or hiking, doing activities, or hanging out and relaxing.
Can be more secluded
If you are concerned about how much privacy you are going to have while you are saying your vows to your partner, then a sunrise elopement or intimate wedding might be a good idea–especially if you choose a heavily-trafficked or well-known area.
Potentially better weather
This is entirely region-dependent, but some areas regularly forecast rain more commonly in the afternoon which means that a sunrise elopement increases your chances of clear skies. If you’re eloping in a hot climate or wanting to hike, going for sunrise can also mean cooler temperatures and less sweating.
”Alpenglow” on East-Facing Locations
If you’re eloping in a mountainous region on a clear day, if the main dramatic view faces east, sunrise is ideal because it means that the sunlight will hit that view first—causing the mountains to glow with gorgeous pinks, oranges, and yellow colors.
It’s a great way to start your day
Starting early and having your elopement or intimate wedding ceremony right at sunrise is an incredible way to start out your wedding day. It also gives you plenty of time to relax for the rest of your day and enjoy any other activities that you and your partner want to do.
BENEFITS OF ELOPING AT SUNSET
Can be Secluded
In the evening, most people, whether they are tourists or locals, tend to return home or wherever they are staying to have dinner, which means that many locations become less busy at sunset. So similar to sunrise, you can get privacy if you say your vows toward sunset. However, this doesn’t hold true for every location, as some spots are particularly known for their sunsets.
You can sleep in.
If you decide to do your elopement ceremony at sunset, then you will have more flexibility regarding what time you wake up and be able to get ready in the daylight. If you know that you are not a morning person, you’ll want to keep in mind that a sunrise elopement could potentially leave you groggy and tired on your wedding day–so you may want to seriously consider the benefits of a sunset elopement instead.
Great light for west-facing views.
If you are wanting to say your vows with a beautiful west-facing view behind you, then eloping at sunset means that the sun’s final rays will be hitting the features behind you–and if the view behind you includes mountains to the west, then they will be illuminated with alpenglow towards sunset on a clear day.
You’ll be all warmed up
It can take some people a bit of time to get comfortable being photographed, and your awareness of me as your photographer will likely be greatest at the beginning of our time together. A benefit of eloping at sunset is that we will probably have already spent a good chunk of the day together, which means that you will have had time to get more comfortable with having a camera pointed at you–especially right before you say your vows to your partner, which many couples consider to be the most intimate part of an elopement day.
YOU CAN ALSO DO BOTH!
It’s also always an option to do a full-day elopement that spans both sunrise to sunset or a multi-day elopement where you get to experience both as well.
Tips on how to have the best getting ready & detail photos:
While choosing your lodging and getting ready location, keep in mind the aesthetics, and look for lodging that fit the general vibe you’re going for. It’s best to keep the rooms you are getting ready in neat and do any necessary tidying up the day before. Try to pick up any loose clothing on the floor, move any luggage or miscellaneous items to one side of the room, or out of the rooms altogether. This will allow me to candidly photograph you two without any clutter or distractions in the frame. It will also create a more calm and peaceful environment for you to get ready in.
When searching for photogenic places to stay, here are a few things to keep in mind:
Always look for a nice, clean, calm, and open space
The more natural window light, the better
The less busy and distracting the space and decor is, the better
Consider the general aesthetics and decor–do they match the vibe you’re going for?
Once I arrive, I may do some slight rearranging depending on lighting scenario, but don’t worry, I’ll put everything back in its place for you when we wrap up!
Amazing & heartfelt moments to incorporate into your getting ready photos
Copying your vows into your vow books
Writing and reading each other love notes
Giving a gift to your partner
Reading letters from family or friends
Facetiming with loved ones who are not present
Reading love notes or cards from early on in your relationship
Framed photos set up of loved ones who have passed
Additional things to consider to further elevate your getting ready photos:
Sit by a window when you’re having your hair & makeup done. This will enable me to capture getting ready portraits in the most flattering light. Your hair and makeup artist will likely be in search of the best light in the room to apply your makeup anyhow. Having your makeup done in window light will also help ensure it will look natural once you are outdoors.
Think about what you will be wearing before you put on your dress or wedding attire! I will be capturing portraits of you before you put on your wedding attire, so consider opting for a nice casual outfit, robe, nightgown, or pajama set rather than sweatpants and a neon-colored graphic tee. You’ll be just as comfortable but it’ll bring that extra something special to your getting ready portraits.
Consider including details that are important to the two of you or that help illustrate the story of your wedding day that are outside of the norm. Perhaps a postcard from the location you are saying your vows, extra loose flower stems from your florist, a special ring box or jewelry case, the bottle of perfume or cologne you’ve chosen to wear on your day, and a nice hanger for your dress or wedding attire.
HOW MUCH TIME DO I NEED FOR GETTING READY PHOTOS?
There are a couple of factors that go into determining this. How many people will be present? Are there any specific moments that you’d like to make sure are included like facetiming your mom, a first look with your dad, or making breakfast with your partner? Generally two hours is enough time for most, enabling me to fully capture the details you put so much time and thought into, and the getting ready finishing touches that will help tell the full story of your day.
YOUR GETTING READY CHECKLIST:
Declutter your space. Tuck all clothing, suitcases, and miscellaneous items away.
Collect all details you’d like to have photographed.
Create a calm atmosphere with music, candles or incense, and window light.
Relax with a warm cup of tea, coffee, hot coco, or a mimosa.
Enjoy these precious first moments of your wedding day.
Getting Ready:
WHY GETTING READY & DETAILS PHOTOS MATTER
The getting ready portion of the day is one of my favorite times of the day to document! During these moments, the excitement is high, and things are starting to feel so real. The day you’ve waited so long for is finally coming together, you’re about to marry your best friend! Including this portion of the day into your photo coverage really helps weave together a complete story of your wedding experience. It’s also a helpful way to start getting warmed up to the camera, and a great time for me to document your important wedding details.
I recommend starting your day off in a relaxed manner, waking up with plenty of time to get ready so that you can feel really prepared, be present, and just soak in the excitement before heading off to the first location.
During this time I will photograph all of your special wedding details that you’ve put so much time and effort into. It’s helpful to have all of these details ready and laid out in advance. I recommend doing this the day before so you have one less thing on your mind day-of. Typically these details will include your wedding attire, rings, jewelry, vow books, florals, family heirlooms, invitations or announcements, etc. This is also a great time to give your partner any special gifts.
WILL YOU GET READY TOGETHER OR SEPARATELY?
Some couples choose to get ready separately, especially if they’ve kept their wedding attire a surprise from each other or plan to do a first look. If you get ready separately, it’s helpful to choose getting ready locations that are close to one another, and even better if you can get ready in nearby rooms at the same home. A lovely thought if you chose to get ready separately is that I will be able to photograph a unique glimpse into your partner’s experience that you wouldn’t see otherwise.
Other couples choose to get ready together. This enables you to spend the entirety of your wedding day together. Some of the sweetest photo opportunities include, sharing a mirror as you fix your hair, zipping your partner up into their wedding dress, tying a bow tie, or lacing up boots for each other. There is no wrong way to do this, it’s all up to you and how you envision your day panning out!
You could even choose a combination of the two! Starting your day off snuggled in your pjs, making breakfast together and enjoying it in bed or on the deck of your Airbnb with a view. Then when it comes time to get dressed in your wedding attire, you can choose to keep that portion of the getting ready process a surprise.
First Look
FIRST OF ALL, WHAT’S A FIRST LOOK?
Your first look is the moment you see your partner for the first time on your wedding day, all done up and looking incredible. If it hasn’t felt like your wedding day is really here and happening up until this point, it will now. First looks are often emotional at first, followed by a stream of pure excitement and joy. Your first look is typically when any nerves and stress begin to fall away too. You realize you’re right where you’re supposed to be, standing before the person that makes you feel the most comfortable in this world, about to have one of your best experiences yet together.
WHY HAVE A FIRST LOOK?
Traditionally, at big weddings the couple does not see one another until they are walking down the aisle during their ceremony in the afternoon after so much of their wedding day has already flown by. But you’re here because you’ve chosen to throw tradition to the wind—so having a first look is your opportunity to see your partner for the first time in their wedding attire! It allows you to see your partner earlier in the day so you can spend as much time as possible together, even if you want to get ready separately. It’s a moment where you can fully be present without distraction. It doesn’t make your ceremony any less emotional or special, in fact most often couples feel infinitely less nervous and more excited once they have had their first look to themselves. When it comes to eloping, choosing to have a first look also opens up a vast amount of possibilities when it comes to the rest of your day’s untraditional timeline.
Where do couples have their first look?
Some couples choose to have their first look at their getting ready location, maybe in the front or back yard, out on a spacious deck, a stylized room indoors, or in any scenic corner of the property. Don’t forget to consider this when you’re booking lodging! The benefit of doing your first look right at the getting ready location is that you’ll be able to diminish any nerves right from the start, spend the maximum amount of time with your partner, and enjoy the journey to your next location together.
Other couples will choose to travel separately to their first portrait location or trailhead and do a first look there. You can have a friend or family member drive you, take two cars, or even ride in the same car with one partner in the backseat (if you promise not to peek!).
If you are doing a hiking elopement, many couples will hike up to their destination in normal hiking attire, change into their wedding attire once they reach their destination, and then have their first look there. This is also a great option for sunrise elopements if it has been dark outside up until this point.
I’m always here for you and happy to help give you guidance on the perfect nearby first look location and help make it as epic as possible. I’ll also give you guidance on where to stand and make sure you don’t see one another beforehand.
I love when couples stand there for a moment before the grand reveal, maybe exchanging sweet words as the anticipation builds. Once you’ve turned around to see each other, take it all in. I’ll be capturing both of your reactions, the only thing you two have to do in this moment is enjoy it.
OPTIONS FOR GETTING MARRIED WITHOUT THE LEGAL PART ON YOUR
WEDDING DAY:
Commitment Ceremony
Many couples choose to not worry about the legal part of getting married on the day they say their vows. This is called a “commitment ceremony,” “symbolic ceremony,” or “promise ceremony.” It’s essentially getting married without a marriage license. Having a commitment ceremony means your wedding day plans are completely unhindered by rules or legalities, and can open the door for more location possibilities and require less people involved. If you choose to have a commitment ceremony, you can still do the paperwork and make it legal on another day, but some couples choose not to do the legal side, or aren’t able to get legally married per the law.
Sign Before or After
If you want to get legally married without worrying about an officiant, witnesses, or paperwork on the day you get married, a great option is to go to the courthouse or county clerk and recorder before your trip or after you get back. For some couples, it’s advantageous to get legally married for tax or benefit purposes before the day they read their vows. If you want, you can invite your family or friends to get ordained or be witnesses and make a fun experience out of signing the paperwork back home.
Planning Your Ceremony
When it comes to your ceremony, it’s up to you what traditions you want to honor and which ones you would ratherleave behind. Your ceremony can be completely personalized to you, your partner, and the relationship that you’ve built together.
THE LEGAL SIDE OF YOUR CEREMONY
The legal side of getting married depends entirely on where you live and where you elope–so do your research beforehand and familiarize yourself with local laws and regulations and decide if you want to go through the steps of getting legally married on your actual wedding day, or if you’d prefer to do it before, after, or not at all.
OPTIONS FOR GETTING LEGALLY MARRIED ON YOUR WEDDING DAY:
Officiant & Witnesses
Most U.S. States require you to have an officiant and witnesses for your ceremony and sign your license. You can hire a professional officiant, ask a friend or family member that’s attending to get ordained online (if that’s legalin that state), or (lucky you), I’m already ordained, so as long as my ordination from the Universal Life Church (a non-denominational organization) is valid where you want to elope, I’d be happy to sign your paperwork if you let me know in advance. As far as witnesses go, make sure to research the exact regulations for your location, but in most states, anyone over 18 can be a witness. You can ask friends or family members, any of your wedding vendors, or even random hikers on the trail to be witnesses
Self Solemnize
Some U.S. states like Colorado, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Washington D.C. allow you to self-solemnize–which is a law that grants you and your partner to legally marry each other without any officiant or witnessescoco, or a mimosa.
Courthouse
If you want to get legally married on the same day that you say your vows, you could have your ceremony in a courthouse, or simply swing by and do the paperwork and read your vows in another location on that same day.Research beforehand whether you need an appointment and have all of your required documents gathered, so that it’s not something you need to stress about day-of.
What to do during your ceremony:
Regardless of how you choose to do the legal side of getting married, there are numerous traditions that you can decide to incorporate on the day you say your vows—or you can skip them all and totally decide on your own.
Here are some ideas of what exactly you can do during your elopement or intimate wedding ceremony:
Read Personalized Vows
Reflect upon your relationship so far, declare any promises that you want to share about your future together, express any emotions that you are feeling, and commit your life to your partner.
Exchange Rings or another token
Rings are traditional since they represent an infinity with no beginning and no end, but you could exchange any other symbol that is important to and honors your relationship
First Kiss & First Dance
Celebrate some exciting firsts in your new married life together with your first kiss as a married couple and your first dance.
Incorporate Music
Play your favorite song on a portable speaker, have a musician play your favorite tune, or surprise your partner with your musical talent by playing your own instrument or singing an original song.
Sage Smudging
If allowed and safe (please check fire bans and always leave no trace) this ceremony requires a bundle of sage, a way of lighting it, and a bowl. The intention is that you light the sage, which is symbolic for replacing any negative energies with positive, healing ones. You can also use an essential oil sage spray if fire isn’t safe.
Handfasting
This is originally a Celtic pagan ceremony where the hands of you and your partner are bound together by a braided rope, and it both figuratively and literally joins you and your partner. You can also have friends or family members participating in tying cords around your hands.
Unity Ceremony
A unity ceremony consists of joining two parts of something into a singular piece, and it is representative of merging your life together with your partner’s life. Traditionally, this has been done by lighting a unity candle, but you can also combine two different colors of sand or plant a tree together–whatever feels like a unification of you and your partner.
Read Letters
You can ask friends or family members who aren’t physically present on your day to write you a letter for you to read during your ceremony. This is a beautiful way to feel their presence and support.
Surprises & Gifts
If you have a special surprise or gift for your partner, whether it’s a handmade gift, jewelry, or something else, giving it to your partner during your ceremony can be really special!
Create Space for Those Not Present
As a gesture to a special person or people who could not physically attend your day, you can include a moment of silence during your ceremony, or incorporate a memento from them into your wedding day.
Celebratory Meal or Party
It’s super important to stay fueled & sustained during your elopement, especially if there’s activities involved. A meal is the perfect time to sit back, relax, and simply soak in the excitement of the day. There are many routes you can go to incorporate food into your day. Will you choose a more luxurious route? Or is it more your style to do something casual?
HERE ARE SOME FUN FOOD-RELATED IDEAS TO CONSIDER:
Do you want to feel pampered and have a private chef prepare special meals for you?
Would you like to pack a picnic and enjoy it someplace scenic?
Would you like to order a charcuterie board of all of your favorite foods?
Would you like to cook something together over a fire?
Would you like a more casual potluck style meal with guests at an Airbnb?
Will you seek a favorite food? Or try something new?
Will you be dining out of a JetBoil outside of your tent?
Would you like to swing by a nearby restaurant, distillery or brewery? Maybe reserve a private room or tasting?
Is spontaneously finding a random street vendor more your style?
Will you be on the go? If so, maybe you’ll prefer to swing by a caterer or restaurant and pick up something prepackaged.
Will you celebrate with sparkling water or champagne? Or do you have a favorite beverage you’d like to enjoy together?
What would be the most awesome scenario for you two on your wedding day?
If you’re having an intimate wedding, you can also use the time around a celebratory meal to have a first dance and toasts—similar to how you would at a traditional reception. This is also a great time to read letters or cards from friends and family who aren’t physically there with you and reminisce about highlights of the day so far. I highly recommend putting some time aside to enjoy these moments on your wedding day without feeling rushed. I will be documenting this time very candidly, but will also leave space for you two to enjoy yourselves without the camera present, especially while you’re consuming food.
Activities:
When you are thinking about your elopement timeline, you will also want to consider any other meaningful activities that you might want to incorporate into your day–either to celebrate your relationship or take a moment to reflect upon the commitment that you are making.
Here are a few ideas for some activities that you don’t necessarily need to book ahead of time but might still want to leave space for in your elopement day:
Dedicating time to write in a journal so that you can capture all of the emotions of the day and revisit how you felt on your wedding day in the future.
Reading letters from friends and family members who might not be in attendance during your actual elopement day.
Playing instruments together—whether you are both talented musicians or just started learning together, this can be a special way to spend time together and communicate your joy through music.
Creating something together, like painting a blank canvas together, throwing some pottery, making your own rings, or blending your own wedding-day wine. This will also give you a unique memento from your special day unlike any other.
Spending some time taking a nearby walk or hike to really be present, take in your surroundings, and commit them to memory.
Taking a trip to the local tattoo parlor to get matching tattoos in celebration of your new marriage.
Planting trees, flowers, or other foliage (but only in places where it is appropriate to do so!) to represent rooting yourself in your relationship and being ready to grow together.
Playing a game–from video games to board games to backyard games, there are so many options, and this is a great activity to include some guests while also having a lot of fun.
When budgeting time in your day for activities, I recommend leaving some extra space so that you don’t feel rushed to “perform” an activity in a short amount of time—but rather have time to relax and enjoy it. Also remember that some activities can take a while to set up, so leave space for travel and those transitions when planning out activities.
Congratulations—you’ve made it to the end!
Remember, this guide isn’t a rulebook and you don’t have to memorize it (I promise there won’t be a test). Instead, let this guide be here for you to come back to as you need it, for guidance, for inspiration, for reminders, for next steps.
And I know that this information might feel like a lot all at once, but trust me, at the end of the day, eloping is about enjoying the process of getting married and making decisions that are the most “you.”
Your day is going to be amazing, so take a deep breath and just dedicate some time to being honest with yourself about what you actually want your wedding day to look like—a day dedicated to celebrating your relationship with your partner, free of the burden of traditions, expectations, and obligations, and the freedom to just be yourselves.
You and your partner deserve to ditch all pressure and stress and instead honor who you are with an elopement or intimate wedding that speaks to you.
I’m so excited to be a part of helping you create this day. There’s truly no better job in the whole wide world, and it’s because of incredible couples like you who aren’t afraid to abandon expectations that don’t fit who you are, who decided to instead seek out an experience that is authentic and honest to the special relationship that you share, that I get to live this dream.
I can’t wait to meet you—and, in the meantime, I’ll be right here to answer any questions you have and help you plan your elopement or intimate wedding every single step of the way.
You’re a badass couple doing something so brave—and your wedding day is going to be unforgettable, meaningful, and perfect. It will be an unforgettable beginning to all of the other adventures that will follow in your marriage.
Cheers to that,
xxFlora
Thank You!